Yesterday I wrote about how I would book Wrestlemania 29 if I were in charge, or had any power or say whatsoever, at WWE. But, since Vince McMahon and the rest of the company have not realized that by hiring me I could take their companies to heights the likes of which have not been seen since the mid-90s, today I am going to very briefly offer my predictions on what I actually think will happen tomorrow night at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
WWE Champion The Rock vs. John Cena (WWE Championship)
As I’ve said many times before over the last few weeks, I am begrudgingly rooting for John Cena in this match because, thanks to an insulting WWE Championship reign from The Rock, Cena is actually the lesser of two evils (I do not like him or his character or seeing him with the title or in the main event, but at least he shows up on TV every week and respects the title and the fans). For the same reasons that I would book Cena to win this match (he lost last year, the storyline behind the match is, laughably, that he can’t win “the big one” and The Rock is leaving WWE to film another movie later this month) I think that John Cena will win this match and become the WWE Champion yet again.
This one is a no-brainer. While it would be completely shocking if CM Punk won, there is no chance The Undertaker loses and The Streak ends. And while it would be cool if the match ended in something like a double disqualification, whereby The Streak remains intact but Punk steals a victory from The Undertaker, I doubt that will happen either. At the end of the night, The Undertaker will have won with a clean 1-2-3 victory.
This match is very hard to predict, probably the toughest one on the entire card. Does the WWE do the right thing with Brock Lesnar’s character, taking into account that he has two more years left on his new contract, and give Lesnar the victory, or does Triple H use his backstage power to claim the win, thus negating the retirement clause of the match and putting Lesnar’s record since returning to the WWE at a measly 1-2? I hope I’m wrong, but I’m going to predict that the latter takes place, I just hope that Lesnar looks as strong as possible in defeat.
The smart thing to do here would be to put the title around Jack Swagger for two reasons – his new xenopohobic character is awesome and getting tons of heat both among the fans and the mainstream media and, despite being the only Latino Superstar not on the injured list, Alberto Del Rio is just not connecting with the fans as a face or the champion. But, because Del Rio is Latino and because Swagger did have some issues with the law last month that have not yet been resolved, I predict that Del Rio will win the match and retain the title. However, I hope that I’m wrong, or that if I’m right, the victory is short-lived and Dolph Ziggler runs down the ramp to cash in his Money In The Bank contract (although I doubt this will happen either).
The way I would book this match and what I think will happen tomorrow night are one and the same -Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston will win the WWE Tag Team Championships and Kane and Daniel Bryan will break up as a tag team and feud against one another before moving on to other feuds (and, in the case of Daniel Bryan, hopefully a world title reign). What I really hope happens is a surprise change where AJ Lee and Divas Champion Kaitlyn are added to the match with a “winners take all” stipulation, but I doubt that will happen (in fact, I unfortunately doubt that Kaitlyn will have any appearance bigger than a quick backstage segment interacting with a celebrity, which is a shame and a travesty).
In my mind, this match is the second-hardest one to predict because of the same dilemma as the first one – does the WWE do what is right for business, storylines and character development (e.g., have The Shield win) or does it do what three top Superstars in the company most likely want to happen and will make the fans, especially the younger ones, happy (e.g., Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show win). At the end of the day, I think that the fans will be very happy with the overall results from that night (especially the main event) and Orton, Sheamus and Big Show know that putting The Shield over is the right thing to do. I just hope that when Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns are having their hands raised in victory, a heel Randy Orton is joining them.
This one is easy to predict – Fandango wins.
This one is also pretty easy to predict – while I have no love for Ryback whatsoever, and pray that after Wrestlemania he does not engage in a feud with John Cena for the WWE Championship, I do think that he will win this match. I just hope that a match between two behometh super heavyweights comes with a monster (pun intended) spot.
While I would be happy to see either Superstar win this match, and hopefully be given the time and storyline to bring the Intercontinental Title back to prominence, I do not see the title changing hands simply because the match is on the pre-show and most people at home (and anyone out at a bar or restaurant) will not see it happen.
The right thing to do in this match is having Team Rhodes Scholars (the better tag team) and The Bella Twins (the better Divas) win this match. However, little kids love Brodus Clay (and, now that he has joined in the gimmick, Tensai) and little kids drive merchandise. Plus, I’m sure the WWE would love to broadcast the picture of a bunch of fans in the ring dancing with “Tons of Funk,” so unfortunately, I see the team Clay, Tensai, Naomi & Cameron winning this one.